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| Who needs twitter13 hours left. Must be efficient. (ps. I realize this is one of the most anticlimactic returns to xanga land. ever, in the history of the word ever. Sorry, a more substantial entry will come. Now, I need a place to organize, to unload...)
1. Go to CVS and pick up prints
2. Go to Chem and finalize orders
3. Class
4. Clean up life, virtual and actual
a. Tidy room
b. Find camera, upload
c. Answer fbook messages
d. Straighten out schedule for next month
5. Work up an appetite
6. Eat dinner with SSG
7. SSG + JSG combined!
8. Work off schedule set in 4d.
a. Roughly, FBA for Chris
b. Clostridia for Dnaiel
c. Paper for Ed
d. Paper for Macedo
e. Paper for Hong
9. Call mom, coordinate for tomorrow
10. Write reflection before bed, some thoughts on senior year
a. probably the first of many
11. Sleep early, before 2 if possible
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| unassuming return to xangalandI'm sitting on a goldmine, an oilfield, a well-spring, I'm telling you. Give it some time to percolate, to shine, to rupture. There are so many things that I've wanted to write about the last month or so. I have been writing about them in a more private place, but today in particular I need my xanga-bib.
It's comforting to write on here. I use to think it was a burden to try and express myself freely while at the same time writing in a coherent and presentable way for others to read. Now, I appreciate the fact that writing here forces me to express myself clearly and succinctly. I need that in my life right now, clarity, endurance, and small, concise words.
There's this Chinese word 忍。It means endurance, and perseverance, and connotes longsuffering and forbearance. I'm far far far from a Chinese linguist, but I want to offer my slipshod analysis of the word, perhaps to glean some wisdom from those that put together the Chinese language.
It's composed of two parts. The top character 刃， means the edge of knife. 刀, or knife, also connotes strength. The actual character for strength is really close 力。
Part of 忍 is to live with strength, not just any strength, but strength that equates you with the edge of a knife. It's not a languishing endurance, it's a fierce, almost militant waiting.
The bottom character is 心, or heart. Heart has a lot of connotations as well, not different than those in English. It means passion, romance, devotion。 Less obvious is its connection to knowledge, and deep connection to the mind. The word for psychology is literally "heart theory" 心理。
忍 has passion and knowledge at its base. It not complacent, nor is it irrational. There is a good, compelling reason to continue and persevere.
And on a whole, the word is interesting because it places the heart under the edge of a knife. What a precarious place to be! One mis-beat and it's blood and gore all over the place.
Semi-comical interlude over. In all seriousness, I think these are good principles to go by when staring disappointment in his ugly face. Fierce strength, rational thinking, passion.
God help me.
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| I just realized one more way in which God is fair. He gave everyone the same measure of time. No matter who you are, President Obama or Plumber Joe, each day has 24 hours, every hour has 60 minutes, and every minute has 60 seconds, no one gets more or less.
Ok, yes...I realize that this isn't such a profound observation. It's like saying look! A circle is round. Congrats, you want a cookie?
But it is useful to know. After all, the roundness of a circle is what makes a wheel so useful. And, I think, the fairness of time is what makes our expectations bearable.
When things are good, smile genuinely, yet moderately because that time will pass. And when things are worse, pause. Give yourself just enough time to let the lessons you learned harden into a cast around your heart, for support as it heals. Then, walk on. You have to because time doesn't stop, and in that way God is just,
step lightly, and let's walk on. it'll be alright.
___________________
That which is has been already,
and that which will be has already been,
for God seeks what has passed by.
-Ecclesiastes 3:15
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| Lord, be the center
be my source
be my light, Jesus.
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| let's replace the definition of insanityWith the text of the previous entry. I can't believe I wrote that. Finals really did me in. Oh, Peter, you're writing in past tense already? There's still one more to take on Friday. Keep going, keep going! And if you're one of the unfortunate people with finals left, go you too!
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